Many people have asked me why we decided to get married recently, and with such a traditional ceremony and reception. Here’s the reason why, and how it relates to the different stages of my own and many people’s journey . . .
Left here with tears of joy running down my face because you spoke my “story” which turned also turned into Full on Grace in the midst of great challenges. Thank you James.
Beautiful James ! Thank you.
I suddenly “got it” !!
I’ve held myself back from living my life fully. (because of feelings of fearand insecurity,
and the need to “get it right”) What a waste……..sad, but I’ve also done my best with the understanding and awareness I had. Perhaps I can change a little now ?
With love
Jude Xqw
I have my doubts about how deeply you’ve gone into the reasons why you married. I’m sensing and “end around” maneuver and a sublimation into spiritual realms that tend to avoid the really deep shadow reasons for such a decision on your part no less your wife’s.
Hi Tomius. Thanks for your comment. What you say is of course possible, but when I listen I don’t find it. What I DID find is plenty of shadowy reasons NOT to get married!
In friendship, James
I guess old-paradigm folks just don’t see that their institution of marriage, as it is practiced globally, is an abject failure from the perspective of providing a foundation to higher awareness and ever more love, vigor, vitality and aliveness. They just don’t see that sexual energy languishes within marriage and eventually deadens-out instead of leading to higher and higher levels of bliss, happiness, joy, etc. for which it was originally designed to do (hence the goddess oriented Tantric Tradition).
Your recent flirtations with death seem to have scared you into wanting earthly assurance you’ll not die alone and unattended…hence your journey into that old, dying institution of marriage. I’m surprised your lady went along with all that.
Hi T. I agree with you about how marriage is generally practiced globally (see my comment to Pauline above), and THAT kind of marriage, I, or ‘my lady’, could never sign our names to.
However, there is a different kind of marriage possible: one that is truly based in open communication, in connection, in patience, devotion and loving kindness. This kind of marriage is a wonderful crucible to help face the deep clenches in the body and psyche, to listen to them and enable them to unfold, and to reclaim all of that vitality and aliveness you’re talking about. Sexual energy doesn’t need to languish when there is that open communication.
Besides, using sexual energy to attain higher and higher levels of bliss etc. is another game. I went down that route in my late 20s early 30s and it was wonderful for a time, until I realised it was another form of seeking. You don’t need to cultivate sexual energy, or engage in dangerous sports, or whatever people do to get out of their mind and realise the wonder of being, you can just be who you are right now! Wow!!! With that beautiful realisation everything and everyone is let off the hook—nothing needs to satisfy you because you are already satisfaction itself.
The word tantra is so often exclusively associated with sexual union, but what I’m talking about in the video is how I interpret the tantra tradition: it’s pointing towards the ultimate consummation—making love to all that is in an infinite embrace.
Hi mum. Thanks for your comment. I don’t really see it as going ‘back’ to be honest. Growing up, from looking at those around me, marriage seemed to be about escaping the fear of being alone, or for the sake of having children, or being pressurised by family and friends to ‘do the right thing’. I rarely saw two people who deeply connected, and communicated openly to nurture that deep connection; more commonly it seemed they were just putting up with one other! I never wanted to sign my name to that kind of marriage.
It was only when I could really understand what marriage is for myself, as I explain in this video, that I could discover the true wonder in it. Rather than a going ‘back’, I’d call that a ‘moving on’. Much love mum, James xxx
Beautiful James! What is the main message for me: You can be free in any role you take on.
“You can be free in any role you take on”. Yes! Love that. Thank you Lucie xxx
First there is a mountain, then there is no mountain, there is…
Beautiful James
love
Rick
forgot to include ‘then’ …..you just never know what the next moment will bring!
Haha! That’s for sure Rick xxx
Left here with tears of joy running down my face because you spoke my “story” which turned also turned into Full on Grace in the midst of great challenges. Thank you James.
Thank you dear Hamsa. Keep on shining :))) x
Beautiful James ! Thank you.
I suddenly “got it” !!
I’ve held myself back from living my life fully. (because of feelings of fearand insecurity,
and the need to “get it right”) What a waste……..sad, but I’ve also done my best with the understanding and awareness I had. Perhaps I can change a little now ?
With love
Jude Xqw
Great Jude! Feel the delicious gratitude to life for that clear seeing. I bow a deep bow _/\_
I have my doubts about how deeply you’ve gone into the reasons why you married. I’m sensing and “end around” maneuver and a sublimation into spiritual realms that tend to avoid the really deep shadow reasons for such a decision on your part no less your wife’s.
In friendship, Tomius
Hi Tomius. Thanks for your comment. What you say is of course possible, but when I listen I don’t find it. What I DID find is plenty of shadowy reasons NOT to get married!
In friendship, James
I guess old-paradigm folks just don’t see that their institution of marriage, as it is practiced globally, is an abject failure from the perspective of providing a foundation to higher awareness and ever more love, vigor, vitality and aliveness. They just don’t see that sexual energy languishes within marriage and eventually deadens-out instead of leading to higher and higher levels of bliss, happiness, joy, etc. for which it was originally designed to do (hence the goddess oriented Tantric Tradition).
Your recent flirtations with death seem to have scared you into wanting earthly assurance you’ll not die alone and unattended…hence your journey into that old, dying institution of marriage. I’m surprised your lady went along with all that.
In friendship, T
Hi T. I agree with you about how marriage is generally practiced globally (see my comment to Pauline above), and THAT kind of marriage, I, or ‘my lady’, could never sign our names to.
However, there is a different kind of marriage possible: one that is truly based in open communication, in connection, in patience, devotion and loving kindness. This kind of marriage is a wonderful crucible to help face the deep clenches in the body and psyche, to listen to them and enable them to unfold, and to reclaim all of that vitality and aliveness you’re talking about. Sexual energy doesn’t need to languish when there is that open communication.
Besides, using sexual energy to attain higher and higher levels of bliss etc. is another game. I went down that route in my late 20s early 30s and it was wonderful for a time, until I realised it was another form of seeking. You don’t need to cultivate sexual energy, or engage in dangerous sports, or whatever people do to get out of their mind and realise the wonder of being, you can just be who you are right now! Wow!!! With that beautiful realisation everything and everyone is let off the hook—nothing needs to satisfy you because you are already satisfaction itself.
The word tantra is so often exclusively associated with sexual union, but what I’m talking about in the video is how I interpret the tantra tradition: it’s pointing towards the ultimate consummation—making love to all that is in an infinite embrace.
Do you see the human body as an open-ended system of evolving energies?
Welcome back dear James to experiences we all know and love. xxx
Hi mum. Thanks for your comment. I don’t really see it as going ‘back’ to be honest. Growing up, from looking at those around me, marriage seemed to be about escaping the fear of being alone, or for the sake of having children, or being pressurised by family and friends to ‘do the right thing’. I rarely saw two people who deeply connected, and communicated openly to nurture that deep connection; more commonly it seemed they were just putting up with one other! I never wanted to sign my name to that kind of marriage.
It was only when I could really understand what marriage is for myself, as I explain in this video, that I could discover the true wonder in it. Rather than a going ‘back’, I’d call that a ‘moving on’. Much love mum, James xxx
Another inspirational video James–your happiness shines, love Anne xx